Sorry I'm so late this week... I've been very busy (starting to become a habit).
"The Hamiltons"
This film was made by directors Mitchell Altieri and Phil Flores A.K.A "The Butcher Brothers" and writers Mitchell Altieri, Phil Flores, and Adam Weis in the year 2006. There are no actors worth note.
IMDb Gives it a 5.2 out of 10.
The plot. A family is dealing with the absence of their parents while trying not to drift apart. Oh yeah and they kidnap and kill people.
There is a lot of ground to cover so let's get moving... The movie is boring and tedious. The twist at the end was expected and it was so full of angst that I thought I was watching one of those stupid "teen moves to new town, teen finds out what is cool in that town, teen gets beat up, teen becomes determined to be good at what is cool to win affection of teen (insert gender here), teen accomplishes with a lot of hard work culminating into a final battle, teen wins (insert gender here). *insert triumphant music here*" I think that I've ranted enough... oh wait... incest. Now I'm good.
I give this film a 3.5 out of 10. As I said boring and angst-y.
"Harpoon: Whale Watching Massacre"
This film was made by director Julius Kemp and writer Sjon Sigurdsson in the year 2009 in Iceland. Exceptional actors? Ummm... Gunnar Hansen and Terence Anderson were quite awesome in this movie.
IMDb gives it a 4.9 out of 10.
The plot. A whale watching group goes out to sea gets in trouble and is saved by whale hunters (who are out of a job due to international law) and so the whale hunters attack the watchers because they blame them for the loss of their income. A ton of sub-plots later, that's it.
First, this film kicks "The Hamiltons" right between the reels. It's ferocious, innocent and despicable all at the same time. Only two people in the entire film turn out to be good people. Everyone else is insane or incredibly manipulative. It definitely is different from any other horror movie I've seen.
I give it a 6.9 out of ten. It's fun but it also makes you look at the people around you with concern.
Oct 29, 2011
Jason Goes to Hell, Boy Eats Girl, and Paranormal Activity 3
I have been quite busy this week so here (finally on time(maybe)) are my reviews.
"Jason Goes to Hell"
This film was made by the director Adam Marcus (director of the first "Friday") and the writers Jay Huguely, Adam Marcus (both credited with the story) Dean Lorey, and Jay Huguely (both credited with the screenplay) in the year 1993. No famous or good actors as usual.
IMDb rates it a 4.1 out of 10. However from my research, it seems like the majority of Friday-fans greatly dislike this film.
The plot is... I have to show you what IMDb says... "Serial killer Jason's supernatural origins are revealed." That's it. Yep, that is it. There's something about his family and voodoo but that's unimportant.
There is so much wrong with this movie. They never actually explain his "unnatural origins". They never explain why he suddenly remembers he has family. (Kinda) Jason is never seen in Hell but they imply that he is there. Suddenly the media knows all about Jason including: his full name, his death (as a child), where he is, how many he has killed, and that the entire nation is now scared of Jason. Also, I watched the unrated version (bad idea) and within that version there is one scene of straight soft-core porn. No kidding. They must have been really desperate to get people into the theaters because to tell the truth, it had no significance in the plot. Just some killings. This movie didn't have a single scary spot in it. But, I will say that the effects were rather gruesome even though it was made in 1993 the effects hold up fairly well. (it doesn't look like the 90's to be honest, it looks like the 80's.) One last thing, if a nerd who has his fingers broken (on purpose) becomes a total action hero then I must be a superhero by now...
I give this film a 4.3 out of 10. It wasn't too terrible and I was entertained. My only complaint... why did the soft-core need to be in there?
"Boy Eats Girl"
This film was created by director Stephen Bradley and writer Derek Landy in the year 2005 in Ireland. There are no actors that I am familiar with nor any I thought stood out.
IMDb rates it as a 4.9 out of 10.
The plot is that a boy loves a girl, girl loves boy. Boy is going to ask girl out, girl doesn't show up on time, boy goes home. Boy accidentally sees (or thinks he sees) girl fooling around with the biggest prick in the school. Boy gets drunk accidentally dies. Mom turns boy into zombie. And shenanigans occur.
There is not much to say about this movie. It is a decent watch and it has some funny parts that are intentional. But, for me, the sexual humor and blatancy of the film was a bit startling. My experiences in high school where not like this one. I am happy to say that both the boy and the girl are opposed to that (not humor wise but the act) this movie included a few scenes of dirt (not filth mind you just dirt) (yes there is a scale: clean, dust, dirt, mud, and filth.) and they were slightly out of place.
I give this film a 6 out of 10. It was good and entertaining, meant for teens so I guess I'm supposed to fit in there somewhere. Not really my kind of movie.
"Paranormal Activity 3"
This film was made by directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman and writers Christopher B. Landon and Oren Peli (credited with Characters) in the year 2011.
IMDb gives it a 6.5 out of 10.
The plot (tacked on to the first movie in order to work) {DISCLAIMER: this is my abridged version of the plot} the people from the first movie find VCR tapes of home videos from their childhood.
Spooky huh? I would like to point out that the tacking on the takes place in the plot barely works. Some of the footage they put in makes no sense like why would anyone film themselves editing the footage of the home movies they had just made? There were decent scares in it but at the same time they were all jump-scares. The end was anti-climatic and the ghost's sound effect sounded a lot like "Wamp". Yeah it had a sound effect. I honestly don't think it was a great movie or even good. It wasn't scary in fact my friend and I were making fun of the movie the entire time. Before seeing the movie I over heard some class-mates speaking of how scary it was and how the first one was so much scarier. I completely disagree. This movie can be taken a little more seriously the first was just funny. I will say that this one learned from the past two and engaged the audience from the beginning.
I give this film a__out of 10. If you want to see it go see it and tell me what you think it should be rated. As for me, I'm not rating it because I honestly think that this movie doesn't need to be rated.
"Jason Goes to Hell"
This film was made by the director Adam Marcus (director of the first "Friday") and the writers Jay Huguely, Adam Marcus (both credited with the story) Dean Lorey, and Jay Huguely (both credited with the screenplay) in the year 1993. No famous or good actors as usual.
IMDb rates it a 4.1 out of 10. However from my research, it seems like the majority of Friday-fans greatly dislike this film.
The plot is... I have to show you what IMDb says... "Serial killer Jason's supernatural origins are revealed." That's it. Yep, that is it. There's something about his family and voodoo but that's unimportant.
There is so much wrong with this movie. They never actually explain his "unnatural origins". They never explain why he suddenly remembers he has family. (Kinda) Jason is never seen in Hell but they imply that he is there. Suddenly the media knows all about Jason including: his full name, his death (as a child), where he is, how many he has killed, and that the entire nation is now scared of Jason. Also, I watched the unrated version (bad idea) and within that version there is one scene of straight soft-core porn. No kidding. They must have been really desperate to get people into the theaters because to tell the truth, it had no significance in the plot. Just some killings. This movie didn't have a single scary spot in it. But, I will say that the effects were rather gruesome even though it was made in 1993 the effects hold up fairly well. (it doesn't look like the 90's to be honest, it looks like the 80's.) One last thing, if a nerd who has his fingers broken (on purpose) becomes a total action hero then I must be a superhero by now...
I give this film a 4.3 out of 10. It wasn't too terrible and I was entertained. My only complaint... why did the soft-core need to be in there?
"Boy Eats Girl"
This film was created by director Stephen Bradley and writer Derek Landy in the year 2005 in Ireland. There are no actors that I am familiar with nor any I thought stood out.
IMDb rates it as a 4.9 out of 10.
The plot is that a boy loves a girl, girl loves boy. Boy is going to ask girl out, girl doesn't show up on time, boy goes home. Boy accidentally sees (or thinks he sees) girl fooling around with the biggest prick in the school. Boy gets drunk accidentally dies. Mom turns boy into zombie. And shenanigans occur.
There is not much to say about this movie. It is a decent watch and it has some funny parts that are intentional. But, for me, the sexual humor and blatancy of the film was a bit startling. My experiences in high school where not like this one. I am happy to say that both the boy and the girl are opposed to that (not humor wise but the act) this movie included a few scenes of dirt (not filth mind you just dirt) (yes there is a scale: clean, dust, dirt, mud, and filth.) and they were slightly out of place.
I give this film a 6 out of 10. It was good and entertaining, meant for teens so I guess I'm supposed to fit in there somewhere. Not really my kind of movie.
"Paranormal Activity 3"
This film was made by directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman and writers Christopher B. Landon and Oren Peli (credited with Characters) in the year 2011.
IMDb gives it a 6.5 out of 10.
The plot (tacked on to the first movie in order to work) {DISCLAIMER: this is my abridged version of the plot} the people from the first movie find VCR tapes of home videos from their childhood.
Spooky huh? I would like to point out that the tacking on the takes place in the plot barely works. Some of the footage they put in makes no sense like why would anyone film themselves editing the footage of the home movies they had just made? There were decent scares in it but at the same time they were all jump-scares. The end was anti-climatic and the ghost's sound effect sounded a lot like "Wamp". Yeah it had a sound effect. I honestly don't think it was a great movie or even good. It wasn't scary in fact my friend and I were making fun of the movie the entire time. Before seeing the movie I over heard some class-mates speaking of how scary it was and how the first one was so much scarier. I completely disagree. This movie can be taken a little more seriously the first was just funny. I will say that this one learned from the past two and engaged the audience from the beginning.
I give this film a__out of 10. If you want to see it go see it and tell me what you think it should be rated. As for me, I'm not rating it because I honestly think that this movie doesn't need to be rated.
Oct 25, 2011
Beast from Haunted Cave and Batman Year One
I'm not sure of what to make of this weeks movies...
"Beast from Haunted Cave"
This film was made by the director Monte Hellman and the writer Charles B. Griffin in the year 1959. I don't normally say who produces but this one is interesting, it's Roger Corman THE cult sci-fi/ horror directer! That actually makes this movie a bit better. No notable actors.
IMDB gives this movie a 4.0 out of 10.
The plot is that a gangster, his girlfriend, and two meat heads come to a ski resort to pull a heist. They plant an explosion in a gold mine as a distraction.
Yes that last bit was necessary. You would not believe how central to the plot that is. Anyway, this movie was thrown together very quickly, the cinematography is terrible, and the acting is worse. I don't know if it's just me but the dialogue in this sounds like it's meant to be witty but it falls flat and breaks it hypothetical nose. I can't believe they are trying to tell me this is suppose to be good. The monster is laughable but hey, 1950's cheese, it doesn't get any better.
I give this movie a 2.9 out of 10. It isn't fun to watch nothing in this is attractive and plot is pulling teeth to make a story that works. Good times.
"Batman Year One"
This film was created by the directors Sam Liu and Lauren Montgomery and the writer Tab Murphy (with credit from Bob Kane (creator of Batman) and Frank Miller (the movie is based on his graphic novel)) in the year 2011. This movie has no stars that I recognize but from what I hear Steve Blum is pretty big. IMDb gives is a 7.3 out of 10.
The plot is that playboy Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham city to start his crime fighting career after a long absence. At the same time Jim Gordon is transferred to Gotham and he discovers the city to be thoroughly corrupt.
Yup, that's it. But trust me, it works. The directors have worked on literally a ton of animated super hero movies making them very experienced and this movie shows it. This movie makes (most likely thanks to Frank Miller) Gordon awesome. He is as stone cold as Miller's Batman, ruthless and determined. Maybe Miller is making his heroes archetypical... I don't know but for this film it works well. Batman doesn't make much of an appearance even though this is his movie, it is more of a study into who Jim Gordon is. Don't get me wrong there are flaws but altogether the movie just works, it even draws the crowd in far enough to slap them in the face with what they are unwilling to believe.
I give it a 7.9 out of 10. I liked it, it's a great film. But if you aren't a fan of Batman prepare to be confused.
"Beast from Haunted Cave"
This film was made by the director Monte Hellman and the writer Charles B. Griffin in the year 1959. I don't normally say who produces but this one is interesting, it's Roger Corman THE cult sci-fi/ horror directer! That actually makes this movie a bit better. No notable actors.
IMDB gives this movie a 4.0 out of 10.
The plot is that a gangster, his girlfriend, and two meat heads come to a ski resort to pull a heist. They plant an explosion in a gold mine as a distraction.
Yes that last bit was necessary. You would not believe how central to the plot that is. Anyway, this movie was thrown together very quickly, the cinematography is terrible, and the acting is worse. I don't know if it's just me but the dialogue in this sounds like it's meant to be witty but it falls flat and breaks it hypothetical nose. I can't believe they are trying to tell me this is suppose to be good. The monster is laughable but hey, 1950's cheese, it doesn't get any better.
I give this movie a 2.9 out of 10. It isn't fun to watch nothing in this is attractive and plot is pulling teeth to make a story that works. Good times.
"Batman Year One"
This film was created by the directors Sam Liu and Lauren Montgomery and the writer Tab Murphy (with credit from Bob Kane (creator of Batman) and Frank Miller (the movie is based on his graphic novel)) in the year 2011. This movie has no stars that I recognize but from what I hear Steve Blum is pretty big. IMDb gives is a 7.3 out of 10.
The plot is that playboy Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham city to start his crime fighting career after a long absence. At the same time Jim Gordon is transferred to Gotham and he discovers the city to be thoroughly corrupt.
Yup, that's it. But trust me, it works. The directors have worked on literally a ton of animated super hero movies making them very experienced and this movie shows it. This movie makes (most likely thanks to Frank Miller) Gordon awesome. He is as stone cold as Miller's Batman, ruthless and determined. Maybe Miller is making his heroes archetypical... I don't know but for this film it works well. Batman doesn't make much of an appearance even though this is his movie, it is more of a study into who Jim Gordon is. Don't get me wrong there are flaws but altogether the movie just works, it even draws the crowd in far enough to slap them in the face with what they are unwilling to believe.
I give it a 7.9 out of 10. I liked it, it's a great film. But if you aren't a fan of Batman prepare to be confused.
Oct 18, 2011
10 Things I Hate About You and Brothers Solomon
10 Things I Hate About You
Viewed on 10-16-11
Viewed on 10-16-11
This movie may seem a little familiar if you have read the great William Shakespeare's 'Taming of the Shrew' Which makes it a bit more enjoyable and easy to understand.
The main characters are mostly named after the story's characters, the two sisters being named Katarina and Bianca, just like the story.
This movie is very fun, witty, and includes the best sort of adolescent humor without becoming too raunchy which I appreciate. The star of Taming of the Shrew has been modernized and each character is portrayed in the personality extremes that are seen in any high school, making the characters relate-able.
The older sister Kat is independent and prefers to be her own person, not caring about others who may judge her. All she really wants is her father to allow her to go to far away college, when her father has another closer college in mind. She differs from the 'Taming of' version who is generally sour and reclusive.
Bianca is trying her hardest to please her friends and dress as preppy as she can- she really just wants a 'normal' sister which would make life easier for her. The main debacle of this story is that by their father's requirement, in order for Bianca to be allowed to date, Kat must first have her own boyfriend.
Patrick Verona, played by Heath Ledger, is recruited to convince Kat to date so that Joey (the most popular dude in the school) can be allowed to date Bianca.
At the same time, Cameron is also trying to win Bianca over with the help of Micheal, and Patrick.
If you have read 'Taming of', then the movie can be predictable and if you haven't, then it is still a fun ride.
This movie is creative, fun, and has a great feel to it throughout every scene. Every character is unique and has their own quirks and issues to deal with, making them more like real high school students.
A great movie, fun for anyone over the age of 13 and great to watch with a friend.
I still am not sure where the title becomes present, but I'm sure you'll enjoy "10 Things I Hate About You". I give it an 8/10.
Brothers Solomon
Viewed 10-17-11
The greatest part of this movie is that you can almost never expect the characters' reactions. Imagine if everyone had visions of sunshine and frivolous joy etched into their brains and acted with the naivety of children. That is exactly how the main characters, Dean and John, behave. They see every situation as glass half-full and they almost always have big goofy smiles on their faces.
The two brothers, Dean and John, have been raised under strange circumstances which gave them a permanently positive outlook.
When the brothers get a call telling them that their father is in critical condition in the hospital they rush (sort of) to see what happened. Moments before the two arrived their father, who had fallen into a coma, his last words before the coma were that he wanted to live long enough to see a grandchild.
Dean and John, currently trying to get themselves into the dating world, are inspired by their father's wish. They dedicate themselves to finding a wya to have a child for their father, in hopes that it will keep him going.
After going through a whole list of possibilities, the two find that they will have to use artificial insemination and a foster mother to have a child for them. They find Janine on Craigslist, she is willing to have the baby for them.
The two are unbelievably eager to have this baby and do all that they can to prepare themselves for parenthood, going to as many extremes as possible along the way.There are a few bumps along the way but by the end of the movie everyone is happy and the unique form of comedy continues until the very end.
This movie does contain strong language but a vast amount of hilarious situations and just the strangest things you'll ever see.
I loved this movie and relate to it to 'Baby Momma' which I can watch countless times. If you are looking for an easy laugh, you'll enjoy this movie.
MovieMoogle out!~
The main characters are mostly named after the story's characters, the two sisters being named Katarina and Bianca, just like the story.
This movie is very fun, witty, and includes the best sort of adolescent humor without becoming too raunchy which I appreciate. The star of Taming of the Shrew has been modernized and each character is portrayed in the personality extremes that are seen in any high school, making the characters relate-able.
The older sister Kat is independent and prefers to be her own person, not caring about others who may judge her. All she really wants is her father to allow her to go to far away college, when her father has another closer college in mind. She differs from the 'Taming of' version who is generally sour and reclusive.
Bianca is trying her hardest to please her friends and dress as preppy as she can- she really just wants a 'normal' sister which would make life easier for her. The main debacle of this story is that by their father's requirement, in order for Bianca to be allowed to date, Kat must first have her own boyfriend.
Patrick Verona, played by Heath Ledger, is recruited to convince Kat to date so that Joey (the most popular dude in the school) can be allowed to date Bianca.
At the same time, Cameron is also trying to win Bianca over with the help of Micheal, and Patrick.
If you have read 'Taming of', then the movie can be predictable and if you haven't, then it is still a fun ride.
This movie is creative, fun, and has a great feel to it throughout every scene. Every character is unique and has their own quirks and issues to deal with, making them more like real high school students.
A great movie, fun for anyone over the age of 13 and great to watch with a friend.
I still am not sure where the title becomes present, but I'm sure you'll enjoy "10 Things I Hate About You". I give it an 8/10.
Brothers Solomon
Viewed 10-17-11
The greatest part of this movie is that you can almost never expect the characters' reactions. Imagine if everyone had visions of sunshine and frivolous joy etched into their brains and acted with the naivety of children. That is exactly how the main characters, Dean and John, behave. They see every situation as glass half-full and they almost always have big goofy smiles on their faces.
The two brothers, Dean and John, have been raised under strange circumstances which gave them a permanently positive outlook.
When the brothers get a call telling them that their father is in critical condition in the hospital they rush (sort of) to see what happened. Moments before the two arrived their father, who had fallen into a coma, his last words before the coma were that he wanted to live long enough to see a grandchild.
Dean and John, currently trying to get themselves into the dating world, are inspired by their father's wish. They dedicate themselves to finding a wya to have a child for their father, in hopes that it will keep him going.
After going through a whole list of possibilities, the two find that they will have to use artificial insemination and a foster mother to have a child for them. They find Janine on Craigslist, she is willing to have the baby for them.
The two are unbelievably eager to have this baby and do all that they can to prepare themselves for parenthood, going to as many extremes as possible along the way.There are a few bumps along the way but by the end of the movie everyone is happy and the unique form of comedy continues until the very end.
This movie does contain strong language but a vast amount of hilarious situations and just the strangest things you'll ever see.
I loved this movie and relate to it to 'Baby Momma' which I can watch countless times. If you are looking for an easy laugh, you'll enjoy this movie.
MovieMoogle out!~
The Brothers Solomon and Vlog
Not much to say besides the fact that "The Brothers Solomon" isn't what I normally review but I'll give it a try, it may not be as entertaining as my Horror reviews but I'm still going to try.
"The Brothers Solomon"
This film was made by director Bob Odenkirk and writer/ leading man Will Forte in 2007. With the notable actors of Will Arnett and Charles Chun.
IMDB gave it a 5.1 out of 10.
This movie is about two brothers who are socially inept trying to find mates so that their dying father can see his grandchild before he dies. That's pretty much it.
I liked this movie, it was funny, awkward and a good time all rolled into one. However the comedy in it was not the wittiest. And the awkward scenes are very very awkward (on purpose). There isn't much I can say about this movie...
I give this movie a 7 out of 10 it was fun in the childish sense but it's not for everyone.
"Vlog"
This movie was made by writer/ directer Joshua Butler in 2008. This film is interesting because they chose a real-life webcam girl to play herself(ish). Her name is Brooke Marks and she has a Youtube account, Twitter, Myspace, and her own website. (thank you Google search browser for allowing me to not have to find this out by going to each individually) Her website isn't for kids (a lot of blatant sexuality (she's basically a porn-star) (no I didn't go inside the site, I took the free tour and there was more than enough to let me know that that website isn't for me), I didn't checkout any of her videos on Youtube but then again I'm sure it's the same stupid crap everyone who does a webshow posts. (DISCLAIMER: webshows are perfectly fine in fact I watch a few myself but my point is they all post practically the same thing. It's the people that are interesting.) IMDB gives this film a 4.0 out of 10.
The basis of the story is that a girl has a webshow and she goes out with guys, gets verbally insulted by a woman and then the guys she went out with, and the woman she was insulted by turn up dead and their murders where posted online by the murderer. According to IMDB's synopsis it's " a groundbreaking extreme-horror film" (my opinion on that in a second) The film begins with the main girl's death.
Okay so, this film was pretty entertaining. The main character is fairly attractive (not my type (she seems manipulative)) and she is pretty fun to watch. I just don't know about some of the film work done on her vlog posts. Anyway the film is entertaining, the gore sucks pretty bad but they did a good job with what they had. (I caught a few goofs in the continuity) There was a scene where the killer was chopping off a guy's head with a meat cleaver and well they were using a cleaver to saw through the neck, not too bright. Also, the guy was screaming and gurgling even though this windpipe should have been cut through already. Anyway, this movie has a few twists but they kinda fall flat as if I already knew what would happen. The movie also goes out of it's way to make sure you believe the plot line. But then (with the effects being so bad it's making me think that the whole thing was a fake (not in "it's a movie" sense but story-wise.) I forgot to mention earlier that the police officer in this is himself... (just a sec, research...) Surprisingly he is hard to find anything about. Well, I don't know who his is, perhaps you do... his name is Rudy Perez and he does a pretty good job in this movie but with the slight flaw that he is just a little bit past reading straight from the script. So, would I recommend it? Not likely.
I give this movie a 3.8 out of 10. It's entertaining but it's a low-class modern day explotation flick. Why? Because the leading lady is a pornstar of internet fame. and there are more than a few scenes of her in her underwear.
"The Brothers Solomon"
This film was made by director Bob Odenkirk and writer/ leading man Will Forte in 2007. With the notable actors of Will Arnett and Charles Chun.
IMDB gave it a 5.1 out of 10.
This movie is about two brothers who are socially inept trying to find mates so that their dying father can see his grandchild before he dies. That's pretty much it.
I liked this movie, it was funny, awkward and a good time all rolled into one. However the comedy in it was not the wittiest. And the awkward scenes are very very awkward (on purpose). There isn't much I can say about this movie...
I give this movie a 7 out of 10 it was fun in the childish sense but it's not for everyone.
"Vlog"
This movie was made by writer/ directer Joshua Butler in 2008. This film is interesting because they chose a real-life webcam girl to play herself(ish). Her name is Brooke Marks and she has a Youtube account, Twitter, Myspace, and her own website. (thank you Google search browser for allowing me to not have to find this out by going to each individually) Her website isn't for kids (a lot of blatant sexuality (she's basically a porn-star) (no I didn't go inside the site, I took the free tour and there was more than enough to let me know that that website isn't for me), I didn't checkout any of her videos on Youtube but then again I'm sure it's the same stupid crap everyone who does a webshow posts. (DISCLAIMER: webshows are perfectly fine in fact I watch a few myself but my point is they all post practically the same thing. It's the people that are interesting.) IMDB gives this film a 4.0 out of 10.
The basis of the story is that a girl has a webshow and she goes out with guys, gets verbally insulted by a woman and then the guys she went out with, and the woman she was insulted by turn up dead and their murders where posted online by the murderer. According to IMDB's synopsis it's " a groundbreaking extreme-horror film" (my opinion on that in a second) The film begins with the main girl's death.
Okay so, this film was pretty entertaining. The main character is fairly attractive (not my type (she seems manipulative)) and she is pretty fun to watch. I just don't know about some of the film work done on her vlog posts. Anyway the film is entertaining, the gore sucks pretty bad but they did a good job with what they had. (I caught a few goofs in the continuity) There was a scene where the killer was chopping off a guy's head with a meat cleaver and well they were using a cleaver to saw through the neck, not too bright. Also, the guy was screaming and gurgling even though this windpipe should have been cut through already. Anyway, this movie has a few twists but they kinda fall flat as if I already knew what would happen. The movie also goes out of it's way to make sure you believe the plot line. But then (with the effects being so bad it's making me think that the whole thing was a fake (not in "it's a movie" sense but story-wise.) I forgot to mention earlier that the police officer in this is himself... (just a sec, research...) Surprisingly he is hard to find anything about. Well, I don't know who his is, perhaps you do... his name is Rudy Perez and he does a pretty good job in this movie but with the slight flaw that he is just a little bit past reading straight from the script. So, would I recommend it? Not likely.
I give this movie a 3.8 out of 10. It's entertaining but it's a low-class modern day explotation flick. Why? Because the leading lady is a pornstar of internet fame. and there are more than a few scenes of her in her underwear.
Oct 13, 2011
"Serendipity"
(Viewed on 10/11/11)
As a new fan of John Cusack, I looked foreword to watching this movie. Though without hearing anything about it except for the lead male role, I didn't exactly have any expectations for it yet.
The opening scene wasn't anything flashy but by the time the main characters met, they shared a really cute dialogue that got my attention. After the opening scene I was pretty excited.
This movie didn't need any special effects or big thrilling scenes to be enjoyable. It was just a casual realistic movie about two people trying to sort out their love lives as fast as they can.
(This contains spoilers, but without such, this would be a very lame blog.)
So the main characters are a man and woman named Jonathan and Sara meet in a department store and continue to get to know each other until they both are convinced that they are simply too good to be true.
But Sara is skeptical. If they were truly meant for eachother, then why not put it to the test?
After a few tries, and a few mishaps, their little experiments show that destiny just doesn't want to shine on them together.
For seven years their lives both change separately and 'meet new people' until they both are at the highlight of their lives- the glory of engagement.
Sara is with a...unique fellow that to anyone else watching this movie would be a freak. I saw him as a freak at least, in need of a haircut. He shows his romantic side maybe once or twice and most of his screentime shows him ignoring his fiance or just causing her stress.
John is engaged to a refined woman and only days away from his marriage when he reveals that he really hasn't given up looking for that girl from years ago. Not by a long shot. So his best man, as well as best friend, decides it's his duty to call John off of this chase. For the sake of the wedding.
Sara is trying to de-stress, in search for just some peace and quiet with her best friend at her side, she takes off and gets twisted into the same frame of mind as John is. Even though they still haven't spoken to eachother, the two main characters are trying to find eachother.
Throughout this movie John and Sara just cannot give up the search for that person that they belong with.
I've watched countless romantic movies, but this one works in a unique way, getting the audience to cringe at every instance that the pair ALMOST find eachother. It will practically drive you nuts, though not in a bad way. By the end it is definitely worth it, and there are more than a few uniquely cute scenes that I haven't seen anywhere else.
The movie is pretty casual and doesn't have to try anything big and fancy to keep your attention, it's just that pleasant.
The main actors are great, the female role is very attractive without trying to be. And John basically looks the way he looks in any of his other movies!
I'd give the movie a 9/10 I really enjoyed it! There wasn't anything about it that I disliked, all of the characters were likable, the movie had a balance of drama and comedy, and by the end I was satisfied. So at any time that you're looking for a movie that's great for a date I recommend 'Serendipity' it won't disappoint!~<3
MoovieMoogle OUT!
As a new fan of John Cusack, I looked foreword to watching this movie. Though without hearing anything about it except for the lead male role, I didn't exactly have any expectations for it yet.
The opening scene wasn't anything flashy but by the time the main characters met, they shared a really cute dialogue that got my attention. After the opening scene I was pretty excited.
This movie didn't need any special effects or big thrilling scenes to be enjoyable. It was just a casual realistic movie about two people trying to sort out their love lives as fast as they can.
(This contains spoilers, but without such, this would be a very lame blog.)
So the main characters are a man and woman named Jonathan and Sara meet in a department store and continue to get to know each other until they both are convinced that they are simply too good to be true.
But Sara is skeptical. If they were truly meant for eachother, then why not put it to the test?
After a few tries, and a few mishaps, their little experiments show that destiny just doesn't want to shine on them together.
For seven years their lives both change separately and 'meet new people' until they both are at the highlight of their lives- the glory of engagement.
Sara is with a...unique fellow that to anyone else watching this movie would be a freak. I saw him as a freak at least, in need of a haircut. He shows his romantic side maybe once or twice and most of his screentime shows him ignoring his fiance or just causing her stress.
John is engaged to a refined woman and only days away from his marriage when he reveals that he really hasn't given up looking for that girl from years ago. Not by a long shot. So his best man, as well as best friend, decides it's his duty to call John off of this chase. For the sake of the wedding.
Sara is trying to de-stress, in search for just some peace and quiet with her best friend at her side, she takes off and gets twisted into the same frame of mind as John is. Even though they still haven't spoken to eachother, the two main characters are trying to find eachother.
Throughout this movie John and Sara just cannot give up the search for that person that they belong with.
I've watched countless romantic movies, but this one works in a unique way, getting the audience to cringe at every instance that the pair ALMOST find eachother. It will practically drive you nuts, though not in a bad way. By the end it is definitely worth it, and there are more than a few uniquely cute scenes that I haven't seen anywhere else.
The movie is pretty casual and doesn't have to try anything big and fancy to keep your attention, it's just that pleasant.
The main actors are great, the female role is very attractive without trying to be. And John basically looks the way he looks in any of his other movies!
I'd give the movie a 9/10 I really enjoyed it! There wasn't anything about it that I disliked, all of the characters were likable, the movie had a balance of drama and comedy, and by the end I was satisfied. So at any time that you're looking for a movie that's great for a date I recommend 'Serendipity' it won't disappoint!~<3
MoovieMoogle OUT!
Oct 9, 2011
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Perkins' 14, and Blood Theatre
To make up for last week and my tardiness this week I decided to review three movies aka it was an accident. I hope you don't mind reading a little bit more than usual... then again what is usual?
"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman"
"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" was made by writer Mark Hanna and director Nathan Juran in 1958. The only notable actress is Allison Hayes who, by the way, is quite stunning in this film.
IMDB give it a 4.9 out of 10
"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" is simply enough about a rich woman who is abused and cheated on by her scumbag husband. After she comes in contact with aliens and is then the victim of a murder attempt she transforms into a giant and goes after her husband and his girlfriend.
Oddly enough, I really liked it. It has the classic 1950's Sci-Fi cheese feel about it (which I love). A simple plot a likable leading lady and a despicable leading man. What more could be asked for? It could have been better but I didn't complain during the whole thing (rare). The only thing I have to say about it is that it seemed that close to the end it was riding pretty closely to "King Kong" 's ending...
I give this movie a 6 out of 10. Overall a good movie for the folks out there who like me love their cheese.
"Perkins' 14"
"Perkins' 14" was made by the writer Lane Shadgett, director Craig singer, with the story by Jeremy Donaldson in 2009. No actors of note except for one but we'll get to that.
IMDB gives it a 5.2 out of 10.
The plot is that a man named Ronald Perkins' parents were killed in their while he was in the other room at the age of 6. Later he kidnaps children of the local town and turns them into zombie-like creatures who only wish to kill. That is what it should be about but instead some idiot thought that a police officer father obsessed with his son that was kidnapped by Perkins would be more interesting. In some cases it would have been but it wasn't handled well.
I honestly didn't know what was going on half the time in this movie. It was trying to be artsy but was failing, it was trying to be tense but failed, it was trying to have likable characters but only one was and he was a throwaway. All of the actors were bad at acting only two of them were notable, Perkins (who died way to early) And Officer # 2 aka Officer Weber (who died from a tragically fatal shoulder gunshot wound in a matter of seconds). Officer # 2 was awesome and he made the movie because of one line : "We have to get outta the lobby.". The Reason? He delivered that line like he just witnessed a normal boring day at the office when in fact a raging zombie had just smashed into the glass of the front door missing a bunch of characters we don't care about by a fraction of a second. Perkins succeeded in being really creepy I don't really know what the actor was trying to do with the role but he was doing it well.
I give this movie a 4.8 out of 10. 3.8 of that is from Officer #2.
"Blood Theatre"
"Blood Theatre" was made by writer/ directer Rick Sloane in 1984. No notable actors.
IMDB gives it a 2.2 out of 10. Yeah it's that bad.
The plot (if there was one) is supposed to be about a theatre (surprised yet?) in which a mysterious old man kills people (all women) in strange ways (by knife every time).
There is no plot, the characters are annoying, it supposed to be funny but it's not, and there is not a single drop of blood in the whole thing. Creative killings? A woman is "popped" to death in a popcorn machine in a dream sequence.... Does it count? No.
I give it exactly 2.15555555555555555555591. It's pointless and annoying, I mean, the soundtrack was pretty cool in how bad it was but besides that it was just trying too hard.
"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman"
"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" was made by writer Mark Hanna and director Nathan Juran in 1958. The only notable actress is Allison Hayes who, by the way, is quite stunning in this film.
IMDB give it a 4.9 out of 10
"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" is simply enough about a rich woman who is abused and cheated on by her scumbag husband. After she comes in contact with aliens and is then the victim of a murder attempt she transforms into a giant and goes after her husband and his girlfriend.
Oddly enough, I really liked it. It has the classic 1950's Sci-Fi cheese feel about it (which I love). A simple plot a likable leading lady and a despicable leading man. What more could be asked for? It could have been better but I didn't complain during the whole thing (rare). The only thing I have to say about it is that it seemed that close to the end it was riding pretty closely to "King Kong" 's ending...
I give this movie a 6 out of 10. Overall a good movie for the folks out there who like me love their cheese.
"Perkins' 14"
"Perkins' 14" was made by the writer Lane Shadgett, director Craig singer, with the story by Jeremy Donaldson in 2009. No actors of note except for one but we'll get to that.
IMDB gives it a 5.2 out of 10.
The plot is that a man named Ronald Perkins' parents were killed in their while he was in the other room at the age of 6. Later he kidnaps children of the local town and turns them into zombie-like creatures who only wish to kill. That is what it should be about but instead some idiot thought that a police officer father obsessed with his son that was kidnapped by Perkins would be more interesting. In some cases it would have been but it wasn't handled well.
I honestly didn't know what was going on half the time in this movie. It was trying to be artsy but was failing, it was trying to be tense but failed, it was trying to have likable characters but only one was and he was a throwaway. All of the actors were bad at acting only two of them were notable, Perkins (who died way to early) And Officer # 2 aka Officer Weber (who died from a tragically fatal shoulder gunshot wound in a matter of seconds). Officer # 2 was awesome and he made the movie because of one line : "We have to get outta the lobby.". The Reason? He delivered that line like he just witnessed a normal boring day at the office when in fact a raging zombie had just smashed into the glass of the front door missing a bunch of characters we don't care about by a fraction of a second. Perkins succeeded in being really creepy I don't really know what the actor was trying to do with the role but he was doing it well.
I give this movie a 4.8 out of 10. 3.8 of that is from Officer #2.
"Blood Theatre"
"Blood Theatre" was made by writer/ directer Rick Sloane in 1984. No notable actors.
IMDB gives it a 2.2 out of 10. Yeah it's that bad.
The plot (if there was one) is supposed to be about a theatre (surprised yet?) in which a mysterious old man kills people (all women) in strange ways (by knife every time).
There is no plot, the characters are annoying, it supposed to be funny but it's not, and there is not a single drop of blood in the whole thing. Creative killings? A woman is "popped" to death in a popcorn machine in a dream sequence.... Does it count? No.
I give it exactly 2.15555555555555555555591. It's pointless and annoying, I mean, the soundtrack was pretty cool in how bad it was but besides that it was just trying too hard.
Sep 28, 2011
Fright Flick
This week I didn't get to watch two movies so I hope that you can forgive me on this but hey less you have to read! Let's get started!
"Fright Flick"
"Fright Flick" was made in 2011 by Writer/ Directer Israel Luna. With no notable actors.
IMDB gives it a 4.8 out of 10.
The story is about a film crew who is filming a trashy horror flick called you guessed it "Fright Flick" and they are getting killed off one by one and they don't notice until the killer leaves proof that they killed someone in the form of a video tape of a person's death. This movie is trashy. It's language is vulgar, the whole thing has Some major sexual undertones to it. The acting wasn't terrible but I didn't really find myself loving or even believing any of the actors. They did a pretty good job but it wasn't the best ever.The movie seemed to be confused about what it was supposed to be: a funny-trashy film or a comic book homage or even a serious film with a very low budget and laughably bad special effects and actors.Down to the guts it wasn't horrible, it was decently entertaining, but don't waste your money.
I give this movie a 4 out of 10. It was watchable but there wasn't much to watch. Only waiting for the next hilarious kill which was worth the wait! If you like the kinds of movies I do you would enjoy this for a laugh.
"Fright Flick"
"Fright Flick" was made in 2011 by Writer/ Directer Israel Luna. With no notable actors.
IMDB gives it a 4.8 out of 10.
The story is about a film crew who is filming a trashy horror flick called you guessed it "Fright Flick" and they are getting killed off one by one and they don't notice until the killer leaves proof that they killed someone in the form of a video tape of a person's death. This movie is trashy. It's language is vulgar, the whole thing has Some major sexual undertones to it. The acting wasn't terrible but I didn't really find myself loving or even believing any of the actors. They did a pretty good job but it wasn't the best ever.The movie seemed to be confused about what it was supposed to be: a funny-trashy film or a comic book homage or even a serious film with a very low budget and laughably bad special effects and actors.Down to the guts it wasn't horrible, it was decently entertaining, but don't waste your money.
I give this movie a 4 out of 10. It was watchable but there wasn't much to watch. Only waiting for the next hilarious kill which was worth the wait! If you like the kinds of movies I do you would enjoy this for a laugh.
Sep 21, 2011
Evil Toons and Blood Shack
This weekend I watched two horrible movies. When I say horrible I mean horrible in bold underlined and in all caps. One was meant to be bad but it even did that horribly, the other was just bad, really really bad. Let's get started with "Evil Toons"
"Evil Toons"
"Evil Toons" was written and directed by Fred Olen Ray. Notable stars: David Carradine. (way before Kill Bill and yet he looked exactly the same in both movies) With a IMDB rating of 3.1 this stinker of a movie somehow was both slightly entertaining and yet ever so dull at the same time. Storyline wise it was the better of the two. Four college girls are dropped off at an old house to clean it before the new owners come. When late that day they are delivered an ancient book of the dead with a creepy face on the front (it loses it's creepiness when it talks (only in puns(I know right?))) One of the girls reads the Latin in the book releasing an illustration who then kills several of the characters. I'm going to leave the ending a surprise because if you actually want to watch it you need the "What!?" at the end. For a supposed to be funny exploitation flick its not. It's just a cheesy run of the mill watch to see college girls in a predicament movie. Oh and the director took every opportunity to show off the actresses breasts. What? I'm eighteen I can do that. Besides, it was not done tastefully and made absolutely no sense story-wise. Why would a college girl do a strip tease for her friends just to show how she got some guy? And in someone else's house?
With all of obvious sexuality and horrible story David Carradine was still fun to watch in it and the extreme underacting of three of the girls was pretty funny to watch. Also, one of the characters (not main barely has 5 seconds of screen time) is named Mrs. Butch. Just saying. She was involved in a pointless subplot that made no sense. Overall this move was horrible and funny but not in the way it was intended. I give it a 3 out of 10.
"Blood Shack"
"Blood Shack" was written by Ron Haydock and Ray Dennis Steckler, directed by Ray Dennis Steckler with no notable actors. And received a 2.6 from IMDB. Strap in and prepare yourself for one of the most boring movies you will ever see. The story is about a ranch that has a shack on it in which a legend called "The Chooper" kills people who go in or near it. The acting sucks, there is an annoying voice-over exposition from the main character, "The Chooper" is a ninja with his face clearly (he has a drawn on blue pencil thin mustache) visible armed with a broad sword. Yes you read that correctly. The story never explains why the random shots of rodeo or why the children were so important (they do nothing but annoy you) or even why Shirtless Cowboy was shirtless (real character not his name though I think his name was Daniel)
I give "Blood Shack" a 2.5 out of 10. The acting was better than "Evil Toons" but "Toons" had a better story by better I mean in comparison "Blood Shack" makes "Evil Toons" look like "Apocalypse Now" I gave it a extra .5 because the ninja was hilarious.
"Evil Toons"
"Evil Toons" was written and directed by Fred Olen Ray. Notable stars: David Carradine. (way before Kill Bill and yet he looked exactly the same in both movies) With a IMDB rating of 3.1 this stinker of a movie somehow was both slightly entertaining and yet ever so dull at the same time. Storyline wise it was the better of the two. Four college girls are dropped off at an old house to clean it before the new owners come. When late that day they are delivered an ancient book of the dead with a creepy face on the front (it loses it's creepiness when it talks (only in puns(I know right?))) One of the girls reads the Latin in the book releasing an illustration who then kills several of the characters. I'm going to leave the ending a surprise because if you actually want to watch it you need the "What!?" at the end. For a supposed to be funny exploitation flick its not. It's just a cheesy run of the mill watch to see college girls in a predicament movie. Oh and the director took every opportunity to show off the actresses breasts. What? I'm eighteen I can do that. Besides, it was not done tastefully and made absolutely no sense story-wise. Why would a college girl do a strip tease for her friends just to show how she got some guy? And in someone else's house?
With all of obvious sexuality and horrible story David Carradine was still fun to watch in it and the extreme underacting of three of the girls was pretty funny to watch. Also, one of the characters (not main barely has 5 seconds of screen time) is named Mrs. Butch. Just saying. She was involved in a pointless subplot that made no sense. Overall this move was horrible and funny but not in the way it was intended. I give it a 3 out of 10.
"Blood Shack"
"Blood Shack" was written by Ron Haydock and Ray Dennis Steckler, directed by Ray Dennis Steckler with no notable actors. And received a 2.6 from IMDB. Strap in and prepare yourself for one of the most boring movies you will ever see. The story is about a ranch that has a shack on it in which a legend called "The Chooper" kills people who go in or near it. The acting sucks, there is an annoying voice-over exposition from the main character, "The Chooper" is a ninja with his face clearly (he has a drawn on blue pencil thin mustache) visible armed with a broad sword. Yes you read that correctly. The story never explains why the random shots of rodeo or why the children were so important (they do nothing but annoy you) or even why Shirtless Cowboy was shirtless (real character not his name though I think his name was Daniel)
I give "Blood Shack" a 2.5 out of 10. The acting was better than "Evil Toons" but "Toons" had a better story by better I mean in comparison "Blood Shack" makes "Evil Toons" look like "Apocalypse Now" I gave it a extra .5 because the ninja was hilarious.
Sep 12, 2011
"the Tripper" and "Dread"
This weekend I watched two horror movies both were well made with good actors and actresses, good cinematography, story, and were fairly entertaining. Let's start with "the Tripper". It was a very entertaining movie with gory action and political statements all rolled into one. (Spoilers) The story is about a boy whose father couldn't save his dying wife because of a group of hippies trying to save a forest. The hippies succeed and the man becomes upset at a hippie in the group, attacks him and the hippie defends himself by hitting him upside the head with a rock making him fall and become quite angry. He pulls a gun and threatens the group of hippies with death, the police show up and place him under arrest. The man's son had watched all this occur and became very distraught and taught the hippie how not to use a chainsaw. Unfortunately, the hippie didn't learn the lesson well and died. The police arrest the boy and put him in a mental institution. Years later we meet our annoying drug soaked new age hippies who go to a free love festival hosted by the most crooked and annoying man in show business (we never learned him name). There are two characters that make this movie worth it, Thomas Jane (the original Punisher) and the serial killer (we'll get to him). They meet a side plot with rednecks just before they get to the festival. When they get there the movie includes nudist hippies and kill off the male nudist within five minutes of our baked heroes arriving by way of snare trap in a funny yet "What the...?" sort of manner. They meet an awesome old hippie with a fur coat and make fun of him all the while he is calm and actually gives them good advice but they don't care. Soon after our heroes leave we meet our killer, a man dressed in a nice suit wearing a Ronald Regan mask, decapitates him for no reason. Yes this movie is about a man dressed as Ronald Regan killing hippies. Already it's awesome! I won't spoil the ending but the epic meter now has a new notch.
I give this movie a 8 out of 10. Great film very entertaining, lots to make fun of.
The other movie I watched, "Dread", however was... depressing. It started out great, with a collegiate level study on fear with our main characters, a normal guy who just so happens to look like a guy off of Criminal Minds (he isn't) and acts like a stick most of the time but can be very compelling, a raging sadist who just so happens to be an average artist as well as a pickup artist? Who knew... The movie ends tragically in the most sadistic, twisted, maniacal, cruel way possible. The movie practically turns around after making you like it after making you trust it and like it's characters it goes crazy and bite you were it hurts.
I give this sick film a 7.5 out of 10. Thanks for the ride but you were never scary and for the last half you didn't even give me anything to make fun of.
I give this movie a 8 out of 10. Great film very entertaining, lots to make fun of.
The other movie I watched, "Dread", however was... depressing. It started out great, with a collegiate level study on fear with our main characters, a normal guy who just so happens to look like a guy off of Criminal Minds (he isn't) and acts like a stick most of the time but can be very compelling, a raging sadist who just so happens to be an average artist as well as a pickup artist? Who knew... The movie ends tragically in the most sadistic, twisted, maniacal, cruel way possible. The movie practically turns around after making you like it after making you trust it and like it's characters it goes crazy and bite you were it hurts.
I give this sick film a 7.5 out of 10. Thanks for the ride but you were never scary and for the last half you didn't even give me anything to make fun of.
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