This weekend I watched two horrible movies. When I say horrible I mean horrible in bold underlined and in all caps. One was meant to be bad but it even did that horribly, the other was just bad, really really bad. Let's get started with "Evil Toons"
"Evil Toons"
"Evil Toons" was written and directed by Fred Olen Ray. Notable stars: David Carradine. (way before Kill Bill and yet he looked exactly the same in both movies) With a IMDB rating of 3.1 this stinker of a movie somehow was both slightly entertaining and yet ever so dull at the same time. Storyline wise it was the better of the two. Four college girls are dropped off at an old house to clean it before the new owners come. When late that day they are delivered an ancient book of the dead with a creepy face on the front (it loses it's creepiness when it talks (only in puns(I know right?))) One of the girls reads the Latin in the book releasing an illustration who then kills several of the characters. I'm going to leave the ending a surprise because if you actually want to watch it you need the "What!?" at the end. For a supposed to be funny exploitation flick its not. It's just a cheesy run of the mill watch to see college girls in a predicament movie. Oh and the director took every opportunity to show off the actresses breasts. What? I'm eighteen I can do that. Besides, it was not done tastefully and made absolutely no sense story-wise. Why would a college girl do a strip tease for her friends just to show how she got some guy? And in someone else's house?
With all of obvious sexuality and horrible story David Carradine was still fun to watch in it and the extreme underacting of three of the girls was pretty funny to watch. Also, one of the characters (not main barely has 5 seconds of screen time) is named Mrs. Butch. Just saying. She was involved in a pointless subplot that made no sense. Overall this move was horrible and funny but not in the way it was intended. I give it a 3 out of 10.
"Blood Shack"
"Blood Shack" was written by Ron Haydock and Ray Dennis Steckler, directed by Ray Dennis Steckler with no notable actors. And received a 2.6 from IMDB. Strap in and prepare yourself for one of the most boring movies you will ever see. The story is about a ranch that has a shack on it in which a legend called "The Chooper" kills people who go in or near it. The acting sucks, there is an annoying voice-over exposition from the main character, "The Chooper" is a ninja with his face clearly (he has a drawn on blue pencil thin mustache) visible armed with a broad sword. Yes you read that correctly. The story never explains why the random shots of rodeo or why the children were so important (they do nothing but annoy you) or even why Shirtless Cowboy was shirtless (real character not his name though I think his name was Daniel)
I give "Blood Shack" a 2.5 out of 10. The acting was better than "Evil Toons" but "Toons" had a better story by better I mean in comparison "Blood Shack" makes "Evil Toons" look like "Apocalypse Now" I gave it a extra .5 because the ninja was hilarious.
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